Is someone driving you crazy? How do you deal with it and maintain your integrity? Often times our most difficult relationships pull out the worst in us, making the relationship all the more challenging.
I'm the type of person who wants to know the "why" behind everything. (I can only imagine how tiresome I must have been as a toddler once I learned that word.) Whenever someone belittled, manipulated or bullied me, rather than enforce my boundaries I'd try to figure out the underlying reasons or wonder if I could have somehow brought it upon myself. After fifteen years, something my husband has been trying to help me learn is finally sinking in. He has always told me that often it is just not worth trying to figure out why someone is difficult or doesn't treat you right. He explained that even if I did find out all the reasons, it wouldn't make it okay and that the bottom line is to be treated respectfully.
I am now much better at setting boundaries in difficult relationships but am still learning.
How about you? What are you learning about working through or exiting difficult relationships?
Our November newsletter reflection is about finding strategies to deal with difficult relationships . It includes a link to a really nice article on this subject from our guest columnist, Cari Vollmer, The Life On Track Expert.
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Notes from a conversation to get you thinking:
My sister says comments like, "Wow, your natural hair color actually looks good." or "You look better. You must have lost some weight." If you just take the words at face value, it could be seen as a compliment. But it's there is underlying meanness even though she says these things with a smile.
I never know how to respond so I usually just say thank you even though I know these aren't real compliments. I'm trying to figure out if there is a different way to respond.
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