A New Year, A New Beginning

By Sonya, PCF's fall 06 intern

With the arrival of the New Year, it is the perfect time to reflect on what has brought us to where we are now and what lies on the road ahead. It is a good time to make peace with ourselves and to remember that "regrets are just lessons we haven't learned yet." Embrace all of the mistakes we have made and approach the New Year as a fresh start, an opportunity to do what we might have been afraid to do in the past, and a time to step boldly into our own futures.

I will be returning to The College of Saint Catherine next semester as a Senior, and while this year may mark the end of one phase of my life, it will also be a time of looking ahead and really choosing the direction that my life will take me. Interning for The Purple Crayon factory has been instrumental in helping me set my course towards a life as a therapist. While I have learned many invaluable lessons in college classrooms, it is another thing entirely to meet people who are really working in the health and wellness industry, to see where they work, or more importantly, to learn why they do what they do. I believe most would agree that it has to do with a desire to help others improve their quality of life, to spread joy, and to reassure people of the power they have. I have always known that I wanted to offer people this kind of service, but only a few years ago, this would have seemed like an impossibility. When I was supposed to enter my junior year of high school, a series of bad experiences led me to choose not to return to school. Even after my life began to improve, I floundered and felt like I had very few opportunities available to me and even less direction in my life. I truly believed that I would never be able to pull myself out of the stereotypical role of "high school drop out." Obtaining my GED gave me no sense of accomplishment because I was still certain that I would never be able to reach my goals.

Shortly after I turned eighteen, I had something like an epiphany. I realized that, in spite of the temptation to point fingers and place blame, quitting school had ultimately been my choice. No one had gotten me into this mess but myself, and nobody but myself was going to pick me up and set me on my feet again. It was an unsettling feeling to realize that I was entirely on my own, but it also led me to feel empowered. If I was a victim of circumstance, it was because I had made the decision to be a victim. So, I became my own guardian angel. I took a monumental leap and decided to leave my home state of Arizona and come to the only place that was at all familiar. Minnesota was where I had been born, and it seemed like it would be the most appropriate place to be born again. With no real support and no set plan, I enrolled at a community college and gathered around me a network of caring people to help me on my way.Since then, my path has taken many more strange turns and the going hasn't always been easy, but four years later, I find myself on the precipice of graduating from a great college, armed with some amazing experiences that I can't wait to share with others. In my life, I've made many mistakes, and I've learned first-hand the value of a fresh start. A clean slate is something that is never given to you, it is a choice that must be made, a conscious decision to let go and to just jump right in to life. In the coming year, remember the importance of taking chances. You are the only person with the power to change your circumstances!

Is there a SANTA CLAUS?

Instead of sugarplums, an acronym danced in my head. Earlier this week, I had a dream in which I was recounting how fortunate I am to know such wonderful, supportive people and how several times, kindnesses have come mysteriously, anonymously or miraculously (just like Santa).

My dream morphed from counting my blessings into my son asking me whether there really is a Santa Claus. In my dream, I remember wanting to capture the spirit of giving, generosity and care and figuring out an acronym that would convey that. When I woke and hopped in the shower that morning, the dream and the acronym came back to me in a flash.

This is what my dream came up with:

Somebody's
Always
Noticing
That
Another

Could
Love
And
Use
Something

That sounds like the spirit of Santa Claus to me!

If you like this, you may share it with others provided you attribute it to: Teresa Thomas-Carroll, copyright 2006. I want to give my dream credit where it's due. :)

Wishing you happy dreaming and holidays!

Using metaphor for your business model

As a visual person, I find imagery and metaphor to be really useful tools for understanding and creating new awareness in my personal and business life. I'm fortunate that in my job, I get to connect with various coaches and wellness practioners who use imagery and metaphor in their work.

When I started my business, I used the metaphor of a vine to visualize how it would grow. I saw that the vine needed a trellis/support to rise off of the ground (just as a business person needs support). I took comfort that with care the vine would flourish and grow. I'd prune the areas that weren't thriving or pulled energy from the rest of the vine. I'd add extra supports to areas that were becoming heavy with flowers. I liked the unpredictability of the vine seeking its way toward the sun, sending tendrils to where it needed to grow.

The metaphor served me well in the early part of my business. But after three years, I needed a new image. I noticed that the vine of my business was sending out lots of energy to the tendrils and new growth and less so to it's core. With the help of a Certified Dream Coach®, Lisa Carmichael (612-280-0734, spagal@mysensaria.com) I was able to find the metaphor that is more useful for me to understand what I need to do for the next stage of growth.

My business is no longer a rambling vine trying to find it's place in the world. Rather, it's established itself as more of a tree. A tree cannot thrive and stand strong unless it's roots run deep and connect to sustenance. The trunk of the tree and it's main branches have to absorb all that they need before the nourishment can create and sustain new growth. I realized that I can no longer send the bulk of my energy to the "leaves/new growth". When I view this as a business model, I see that it's become time to draw energy from the roots (sustenance, purpose, passion, values, connection, integrity), to strengthen the base (core/spirit, self, family, loved ones), nourish the protective bark (support systems), make sure the main branches are tended (key facilitators and clients), while still honoring the twigs and leaves for the energy exchange that happens with them (colleagues and other acquaintances).

I'm both relieved and curious to see how this new model influences the way that I go about my business. And it makes me I wonder what metaphor I'll be using in another three years. Thanks Lisa for getting me to a place to find this useful visual!

What metaphor do you find useful for the way you work and/or live your life?

An act of kindness

Mothers' Connection brought in Deborah Dora to facilitate Ambassadors of Kindness for their group. As was promised, the group came up with great ideas for instilling additional kindness into their lives and comfort zones were tweaked as Deborah led them in connecting with each other and spreading kindness.

Several times I was moved nearly to tears as mothers shared beautiful acts of kindness that they had received or were planning to share. One woman decided to pay a month's mortgage for a family member experiencing financial hardship. Others shared ways such as sending loving notes of gratitude or anonymously sending care packages.

I reflected on how fortunate I am to have so much support in my life and ways I can continue to pass along the support.

The Mom on the Go webcast interviewed Leslie Vaillancourt of Mother's Connection the next day and she mentioned Deborah's session right in the beginning of the show. If you'd like to listen to this and tips for moms, click on Mom on the Go Radio Show.

How might you be an Ambassador of Kindness in your own life?

Is it time for a change in your 'look'?

An awesome gift came to me by way of a makeover. Mom-Camp selected several moms for their Everyday Mom makeover and fashion show. (See before and after photos of all the models here!) eqLife cut our hair and gave us highlights. MAC showed us new ways to wear our makeup. And each of us was designated to a clothing store to try out a new look (mine was Brooks Brothers).

Each time I've gone in to get a hair cut, I've walked out happy but unsurprised. Because I'd given the stylist the general idea of what I wanted, that's what I'd get (or something close). With a makeover, it was my opportunity to see what potential complete strangers saw in me. My haircut is now a short, super-easy, just mess it up and go cut. Perfect for me as a mom! The color has much more depth than what I've been getting from a box. I learned tips for applying my makeup and I'm having fun with that. And it was a real treat wearing the luxurious fabrics from Brookes Brothers, even if it was just for one evening. I did learn from them about how to wear a sweater so that it looks less slouchy and what length my pants should be (Being tall, I think I've worn most of my pants a bit too short.)

With my new look, I'm feel more "pulled together" and having fun with it, too. Thanks Mom-Camp, eqLife, MAC, Brooks Brothers and the Mall of America!

Are you ready for a new look? Keep your eyes open for people who look similar to you and have a look you love. Notice what it is about them that caught your attention. What adjectives come to mind? Is there something about the style or colors that spoke to you? If you love that person's hairstyle, don't be afraid to ask where it was cut. Take out a notebook and write down these things. And then treat yourself to a fresh look!

What would you never give up?

Last night I presented, Yes, You Can Choose Better Over Really Good for the Stillwater BPW (Business and Professional Women's Association) in celebration of National Business Women's Week. About 20% of the participants shared that they were retired. At first I was surprised and was intrigued by why they were interested in coming to this business and networking event. Upon hearing their stories, it became readily apparent that they'd made powerful, meaningful connections with the other women in the group and found it a continuing source of support in their next phase of life. (I'm sure they, in turn, are mentors sharing their wisdom). Some commented that they had retired several times and been drawn back to work for the passion of it. I found this striking. It made me think about the things in my life that I would not stop doing, even if I had everything I needed. The first thing that comes to mind is that I would continue to find creative outlets. I'd continue to seek out opportunities to meet new and inspiring people. I don't think I'd be able to stop being a "connector" type, bringing people together who would be mutually beneficial to each other or connecting them with opportunities they might not have otherwise.

If you were to have everything you could possibly need, what would you continue doing?

Motivation through connecting

Tonight was the Mom-Camp mixer for workshop presenters, sponsors and volunteers. It was a gas. Most enjoyable was renewing and creating connections with the others. We talked a little about six-degrees of separation and with just a quick overview could easily see how we were connected in various ways to each other. Many of the women I knew from meeting at Mom-Camp but several others I'd met and/or worked with in different settings. One of my core values is creating meaningful connections so I really enjoyed when I could see these wonderful women coming together, sharing about their work, laughing and informally finding ways of supporting each other's businesses. Ideas for collaboration sprung forth with ease. My mind is still reeling from the possibilities we could explore. It's all very exciting and keeps me fueled and excited about what's ahead.

What connections in your life fuel you for what's ahead? What roles do friends, family, colleagues or new acquaintances play in keeping you motivated?

Mini-Reflection on my Visit to the Mayo!

Greetings to Purple Crayon Factory facilitators and friends!

My name is Sonya Clemens, and I am PCF's intern from the College of Saint Catherine. At St. Kate's, I study Psychology primarily, with minors in Philosophy and Latin. I became curious about PCF when I stumbled upon their website, as I was interested in learning more about career opportunities in the health and wellness community as well as meeting people who practice psychology in less-than-traditional ways. The Purple Crayon Factory's mission is very much like my own. As a therapist, I hope to inspire people to look at their problems in new ways and to work with the resources they have to achieve happier, fuller lives.

Recently, I attended Teresa Thomas-Carroll's workshop at the Mayo Clinic. While it was a little bit intimidating for a lowly college student like me to be surrounded by so many intelligent, professional women, as always I was surprised to see how receptive they were to a process that probably differs so much from what they are used to. I mean, how many grown women would, by their own power, choose to sit down with glue and scissors to make a reflective collage? But they seemed to really enjoy the chance to be creative and to embrace the theme of the workshop whole-heartedly.

It's *so interesting* from a psychological standpoint to hear what women value in their own lives, and to witness the visual change that takes place between the moment we enter the room and the moment we leave -- especially during the guided meditation, when the whole room collectively seems to become more relaxed and focused. It's a tool I plan to use in my own practice because it really does seem to help people "tap in" to the wellspring of creativity and power they have to change their own lives. Coming from a strictly academic background where so much emphasis is placed on "tried-and-true" methods that offer quantitative results, I may have never had a chance to see what techniques like guided imagery can offer, but after witnessing its affect first-hand, it seems like a valuable tool. I also like the simplicity of collage because it offers a creative "right-brain" outlet for self-discovery without being as intimidating as drawing or painting; with collage, more emphasis is placed on the process rather than the final product.

I really enjoyed my trip to the Mayo, if only because it was a rare chance to venture inside the walls of one of the most well-respected medical facilities in the country. I enjoyed seeing Teresa's methods in action, and hope to someday put them to use myself!

Online Ideal Business Support

I've had several questions about the Online Ideal Business Support groups. Since the group is online, you can participate even if you don't live in Minnesota. Here's the scoop:

Full Year Program

Want regular motivation and accountability to bring your business to the next level? Join this year-long supportive network for mission-driven small business and healing professionals to pursue and achieve business aspirations. As an online group, you participate when it is most convenient for you. Our discussion and action will be centered on Twelve Months to Your Ideal Private Practice: A Workbook by Lynn Grodzki.

Teresa Thomas-Carroll facilitates, with occasional teleconferences.

As founder and director of Purple Crayon Factory, Teresa creates opportunities for meaningful connections and realizations via workshops and networking groups. Her passion and creative energy is fused into all of her work. She collaborates on The Small Business Marketing Jam Sessions with The Small Business Helper.

For more details and pricing e-mail your name and business to info@purplecrayonfactory.com

As an informal online group, we can go in the direction that best serves the group. We'll use the exercises outlined each month from the "Twelve Months...Workbook". I'll get us started each month, help to direct the conversation and share some closing thoughts at the end of each month's exercise. We'll share our progress, obstacles, advice and useful resources with each other. If it feels like an outside expert would be helpful, I'll invite in someone appropriate to give us suggestions. The intention is for us to learn together while using the workbook as a tool to aid our progress.

My personal motivation for facilitating the online groups comes from 1) Lynn Grodzki's book, "Building Your Ideal Private Practice"--even though I'm not a therapist, this book has been instrumental for me to learn soft ways of marketing (I cringe at hard sales) while developing a supportive collegial network, 2) Because I've implemented so many of the strategies, a therapist friend has been encouraging me for almost three years to start up a group based on the book, 3) Now that there's a workbook, it's the perfect way to work through the exercises together and 4) One of my personal missions is to create meaningful connections between people to learn from and support each other.

I hope you'll join us. If you'd like to register, please e-mail me your name and business. I will then send you an invoice. Shortly after I receive your registration, I'll send confirmation with more details.

Lynn Grodzki sends out occasional e-newsletters with tips especially useful to therapists and coaches. You can subscribe on her website.

Click Twelve Months to Your Ideal Private Practice: A Workbook to purchase the workbook. This is an affiliate link and any percentage that PCF receives will help us to keep our offerings affordable.

On Top of the World: Mayo Clinic, Rider Bennett Law and more!

Because of events in the past week and a half, I'm on top of the world!

It all started with a fantastic session for 60 at the Mayo Clinic. The next day, I co-facilitated The Small Business Marketing Jam which once again sold out with 35 registrations. Then just last Thursday, our facilitator Mia Bolte presented on Addressing the Inner Critic for Rider Bennett Law's "An Autumn Afternoon". When Mia and I recapped our experiences with each other, it was so nice to hear the excitement not only about how it felt for us but from what participants shared with us afterward. Follow up communications from attendees confirmed that the sessions were well received. We were affirmed that by following our passions we cannot help but stumble upon success along the way.

When I need a boost, I review the kudos we receive to confirm the value of our offerings. It works every time.

Think of the kudos you've received. If you haven't already, create a file, box or other way to capture kind notes about the usefulness you bring into the world. When you're feeling less confident, peruse the notes to remember the importance of your uniqueness and the impact you make.

Transitioning into fall

I've enjoyed a relatively carefree summer, taking time away from work and enjoying little adventures with my children. School started last week and I am ready to get back into the groove of having regular work hours.

Every fall, I seem to forget that it takes me about a month to adjust to the school year schedule. The first few days, I have piles of work that I'm eager to accomplish but I seem to have forgotten just how long it really takes to get through everything. To manage, I'm prioritizing the major tasks and getting them on my calendar so that I can see what details I need to tend to week to week.

Here are a few of the things that are exciting me for this fall:

1) We've landed the following major clients this fall: The Mayo Clinic is bringing us in to facilitate Envision Your Ideal Life for 60 staff. Rider Bennett Law is bringing in PCF facilitator, Mia Bolte to serve on an experts panel and to also present Addressing Your Inner Critic for their annual "An Autumn Afternoon" event.

2) We have an intern for the semester. Sonya Clemens is a psychology student at St. Kate's and a great fit for our team. She's already helped with one workshop and said it inspired her to create a collage about her goals.

3) It's becoming clear that our typical clients are 1) those in diverse fields of education and 2) mothers. It makes sense since my background is in 1) working in higher education and 2) being a mother. ;) I think the draw has something to do with the fact that education professionals understand the value of reflection and that mothers crave any chance to take a break from all of their doing to have a chance to reflect on their goals, aspirations and ways to take care of themselves.

Here's to a smooth transition into fall!
Teresa

Customers as Best Salesforce

I've been on hiatus from blogging, taking much of the summer off to play and just "be" with my kids. Today I'm charged up though and feel like blogging.

A couple posts ago, I blogged about giving up my car and becoming a member of HourCar (a shared car program with a hybrid fleet in the Twin Cities). I made the decision for practical, environmental and financial reasons. But what feels best is knowing that my choice is not onl working out but aligns with my values so well.

I'm so excited by the shared car concept that I volunteered to bring the car to our National Night Out celebration to introduce others to it. The gathering ended up getting rained out but several folks still had a chance to check it out. I then brought the car to a friends' place where their guests wanted to see how it worked and had lots of questions. Because I am experiencing HourCar membership firsthand, the people I talk to know that I'm sharing what it's really like to be a member. Since I believe in the concept and want it to thrive, I'm eager to keep telling others about the service.

In what ways does your service or product align with the values of your clients? How might your clients help spread the word about what you offer?

Mindfulness from a Maple, part 3

This spring, I blogged about our family collecting sap (lots!) from our maple to create syrup. Now that it's summer, I've found a way to put the syrup to great use--homemade maple ice cream!

I played with the Maple Walnut recipe from "The Best Ice Cream Maker Cookbook Ever" by Peggy Fallon and came up with the following:

Homemade Maple Ice Cream (serves 4-6)

1 cup heavy cream
1 cup half and half
1/2 cup pure maple syrup (I used the darker syrup that gets collected in later spring and saved the excellent lighter syrup for pancakes and such)
1 tsp vanilla extract
dash salt
optional: 1/2 cup (toasted pecans or walnuts)

Serve it immediately after freezing for best consistency.

Whisk it together and freeze it up in an ice cream maker (following maker directions). Place the soft scoops into serving bowls and for those who like nuts, sprinkle toasted pecans or walnuts on top.

Harvesting and patiently boiling down the syrup gave our family a deeper awareness and appreciation for our connection to nature and our food. Churning the syrup into ice cream takes us even deeper as we anxiously wait for it to freeze and then savor the subtle flavor in every spoonful.

In what ways do you deepen your connections to nature and/or food?

Symplifying--What a Relief

In my quest to simplify and make my life more fun and easy, sometimes extenuating circumstances make choices for me I might not otherwise make. For instance, I have always had rotten luck with cars. I'd always invest in repairs only to have more costly repairs around the corner and then ending with repairs more expensive than the cars' worth.

I had a car die on me last summer. The used car I got already died on me this spring. Instead of my usual car post-mortem sorrow, I just chuckled and realized life had been trying to tell me something for a long-time: "Find another way--an easier, less-expensive alternative that fits your values."

I'd been pining for a hybrid car but knew it was outside of our budget. But a creative solution came to be that would have me in a hybrid! In Minneapolis, we have a relatively new car share program called HOURCAR. It's a hybrid fleet that you basically just pay for the time and mileage you use it. The car is insured, clean and they just added a new hub not too far from where we live.

I've been without my own car for over a month now. I've become more efficient with the trips I take, walking and biking more, and orchestrating when I need to drive my husband's truck. And now that I've completed the orientation for HOURCAR, I can reserve it for times I'll need it for work.

It's a huge relief to not worry about when the next repair will be (and how much it will cost!), insurance and the escalating cost of gas. I hope this works out as great as I'm imagining it will!

What circumstance(s) in your life has caused you to reshift your thinking and simplify?

Is that smile real? (Just for fun)

Can you tell whether a smile is real or fake? I found out about this fun test through the Star Tribune newspaper and was a little disappointed in my results (I thought I'd be a pro and I only got about 70% correct). Once on this BBC site, you'll see several other intriguing tests. I took some of the tests and the results showed that I'm an empathic, mentor-type, "feminine-brained" extravert who prefers impressionist art and good at reading emotions...but I also learned that I don't think like a millionaire. Who knew? ;) So then I took another test to see if I'm capable of working like a millionaire...not quite. In the summary, it stated that millionaires tend to not value work/life balance and I'm not one to give up on that.

Gratitude is a Piece of Cake

I love having my own business. I'm able to prioritize my time for what is really important. I was able to take a "work" day off in order to prepare for my daughter's 4th birthday. I can't imagine any of my previous jobs (as great as they were) giving me a day off for party planning and cake decorating. ;)

Without feeling rushed, I was able to create this cake that I believed would take my daughter's breath away. When I unveiled my creation to her, she asked, "And next your going to put more cake on the top?" Immediately, I knew that she'd envisioned a tall, spire-filled castle.

When I said that I was actually done with it, she gave me a big hug and replied, "That's okay mama! It doesn't look like a castle, but I still love it!"

I admit my pride was a little squashed but it was offset by her authentic gratitude. Though I hadn't created the cake she imagined, she was still pleased and thankful. She told me (and others) many times that I made her a very special cake. My little four year old reminded me about feeling gracious even when things don't work out how I'd imagined.

In what ways can you still be grateful for things that haven't worked out like you expected?

Get Real

Check out this thought-provoking article, "Image Versus Real-Life" written by Martha Franke of Creative Coaching, LLC. I received it at the perfect time. I'm presenting soon at an event on choosing "better over really good". It's my personal story of taking the leap into PCF. I've been asked to share this story for it's inspirational qualities, yet my inner critic keeps saying that the audience will expect my presentation to be primarily about financial success when it's mostly about self-actualization. I was reassured by Martha's words and the bold quote at the end of her article.

I, like Martha, hold one of my core values as authenticity. I very often wonder (in my inner critic voice) if I'm being too open, vulnerable, real. But when it comes down to it I prefer to be who "I am" and am most inspired when I am around others who are genuine.

Think about your core values and how they ring true with the image you project. It feels right when you "get real".

Mindfulness from a Maple, part 2

Today was a beautiful day. I spent a good chunk of it watching over a pot of boiling maple sap on our outdoor grill. I'd learned my lesson from burning a couple of batches that one really needs to keep an eye on the sap as it boils down. A rolling boil on a fiery grill is much more vigorous than can be achieved on a stovetop. I was mesmerized by the action of the sap lapping up the sides of the pot and the swirling shapes that the foam would make. It was calming and centering to just watch the sap boil, similar to the effects of staring into a campfire. It felt good to let go of other concerns and to be fully present and absorbed in the task at hand.

Think about what tasks can help you to be mindful and fully present.

Mindfulness from a Maple

My family is experiencing the wondrous process of collecting and distilling syrup from the maple in our front yard. We are gaining an enormous appreciation and understanding of how our tree nourishes itself and now, us. It takes about 43 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup. Knowing this, it feels important to savor every drop.

Our son has been exclaiming, "Thank you, tree! This is the best syrup ever!" We share his sentiments.

This experience has caused me to pause and reflect on how much effort and love goes into so many of the things we eat and use. I encourage you to take some time today to really pay attention to what you might usually take for granted.

Information on maple syruping can easily be found through Google. Or click on this simple site from the University of MN Extension service to get started.

The Value of Learning from Clients

Let's think about our businesses and the audiences we serve. One of the first things that might come to mind is how we provide high value for our clients.

Now, let's think about the value our work gives to us. What are we learning from our clients? How do they expand our experiences? How do they boost our creativity? In what ways do they help us to keep our work feeling fresh and fun?

Photo: Here I am (left) with Michelle LaPoint at the Creativity & Tea: Open Studio I hosted last Saturday. Michelle is a Stampin' Up! Demonstrator who teaches people to express their creativity with rubber stamping. I'll be attending one of her sessions soon and look forward to learning new techniques from her.

When Good Enough is Good Enough

I made a simple decision today that felt amazing.

I'd submitted a draft version of a tip to be included in the soon to be published e-book, Mom-Camp Survival Guide. I figured that if they liked the tip, I'd polish up the draft for publication. I received a prompt response saying that it was a perfect tip, they'd like to include it and that it read fine just as it was.

My first thought was, "Oh, but that was just a draft. I'll need to keep working on it." But then I caught myself. They said it was already good enough to be included. So I set aside my "perfectionist" hat and donned my "good enough" hat. What a comfortable fit!

Getting Your Story Into the World

I was happy that my publicist, Mary Lower of Sterling Cross Communications attended our last Creativity & Tea: open studio. It was a great way for her to get a sense of what I do by experiencing it herself. Since I've hired her to get the PCF story out into the world, it feels important for her to have an authentic experience of an aspect of what we do. I find that when I'm trying to communicate what we do, it works best to give a sample.

Mary took this photo of one of the participants in the session. Photos and testimonials are ways that your potential clients can get a taste of what you do and better understand your story.

How do you communicate what you do? How do you get your story out? Are there ways people can sample what you do?

The Power of Expressive Art

Once again, I was amazed at the insights that expression through art can bring to issues that are otherwise stuck and stagnating in our logical, left brains. PCF facilitator, Tasha Burg's led us through her "Expressive Art: Transforming the Emotions of Pain" session on Saturday. We all experienced how to pay attention to what our bodies and emotions are trying to tell us about what we need to support our well-being. Tasha recommend's the book Visual Journaling, by Barbara Ganim to gain practice in using art for self-discovery and healing.

Symbiotic Collaboration

Collaborating can be so nice. I met Lenore Moritz Rabatin about a month ago when she contacted me to learn more about what we do at Purple Crayon Factory. Lenore is a former Public Relations executive who found creativity to be the balance she needed in her work. She is pursuing study in the connection between creativity and productivity. She asked if she could shadow a session sometime. In February, she participated in our Creativity and Tea session. She offered to help with another session and I invited her to co-facilitate a Nurture Your Creativity session for VISTA.

We got together and tailored the session for the college VISTAs. It was so fun bouncing ideas back and forth. She shared a great brainstorming technique that I'll use again now that I know how well it works. Yesterday, we co-facilitated the session for 40 VISTA participants. We had good interplay between us. I enjoyed the extra perspectives she shared as well as her assistance. Both of us felt we had gotten the better end of the deal and left delighted with the outcome.

I was reminded of how much I enjoy a good collaboration. What are your thoughts on collaboration? Are two heads really better than one? What does a productive collaboration entail?

Networking Cultures and Comparisons

I go to a lot of networking events and I'm always intrigued by the different networking cultures and ways of interacting.

Yesterday, I was a guest at the Midway Chamber of Commerce. There were probably over a 100 people in attendance. This particular event felt a little like culture shock for me. I've gotten used to both attending and orchestrating networking events that dissuade randomly handing out business cards before making a real and authentic connection. At this event, several attendees were passing cards to each other before they started talking. Instead of running for cover, I looked for the fun in it. I decided to have a prize drawing from all the business cards that had been given to me. That was a blast and it gave me a nice way to reconnect with everyone to announce the prize winner and perhaps lead to more communication. It also drew people to approach me who might not have otherwise. People who "get" what we offer and how we might be resources to each other. I found myself enjoying the networking even though it was more conventional than to what I'm accustomed and seek out. I'm happy I attended.

At the Midway Chamber event, St. Paul Police Chief Harrigan spoke about how character is most important to the quality of one's job. He talked about this in terms of supervising police. It's rare that a police officer is hired for not being able to properly write a report. The real problems come from having poor character for the job. It made me think about networking. Would I rather refer someone who had a lot of training but had poor character or someone with less training but initiative and character? I suppose it depends on the type of work (I'd prefer a highly trained brain surgeon). In general, when I give a referral the things I want to make sure of are: 1) that this person responsible and responsive, 2) is a good communicator, 3) has integrity and is honest about everything including capabilities, 4) will do a great job. Notice that I included that it is very important that the person do a good job. But the things I thought of first were all about character. When I looked at the St. Paul Police website, I found this quote:
“...Excellence, Ethics, Empathy, and Education!”-Chief John M. Harrington. I again notice that character, quality and training all go hand in hand with what he states as important.

What do you think? When you are going to give a referral, what weight do you give to character, quality and training? Are you able to determine these things by hearing an elevator speech about the other person's business? Or does it take something more to get a sense of these things?

A couple weeks ago, Lee Truer and I were hired to facilitate networking for the Cultural Creatives Network. This was a smaller group, between 20-24 in attendance. The networking activities got attendees really connecting with each other. I could tell that supportive, caring, working relationships were being established. Though there were less people in attendance, it's more likely that these participants will be able to give authentic referrals because they were able to get a good look into each other's character and what they bring to their work. This style of networking is what I'm personally drawn to since authenticity and strength of character are some of my core values.

Your own core values and character will shape the type of networking you prefer. When you seek networking opportunities, keep this in mind. It's a nice challenge to try out different ways of networking but it's also comforting when you find the networking that works best for you and helps you shine.

Happy networking!

Prioritizing time together

On most Tuesdays, my daughter doesn't have preschool and so she is home with me. There have been plenty of Tuesdays where I've had a hard time setting aside work, trying to sneak it in while she's occupied playing. Today was different. I put her first. Maybe it was because it was Valentine's Day or maybe it was because I've chosen to remember all that I love about my work. (Nudge to myself--Wasn't having more time with family one of the perks I'd wanted when I started this business?) My goal for the day was to focus on being together and not be distracted by the call of things I need to do for work. We took a leisurely walk to the grocery store, made a fancy heart-shaped cake (from scratch and decorated even!) and even heart-shaped home-made pizzas for dinner. Sure, I had a little work that needed to be done but I did it differently. The few e-mails I needed to send, I did while holding my daughter on my lap. A couple other things (like this blog) I waited to do after bedtime. Today felt really good, knowing that I was both honoring our time together and one of the reasons I've chosen to have my own business.

What are you choosing or remembering to prioritize?

Upsize Lifelines article in newstands!

My business lifeline, Jean Hanson and I were profiled in the February issue of Upsize Magazine (I wrote all Upsize Lifelines Awards Ceremony in the Feb. 1 blog-post). The article is about the value of a Virtual Assistant (Jean) to a small business (Purple Crayon Factory). Check it out on page 10 or by clicking here. You say you don't subscribe to Upsize? Here's your chance, for a limited time Upsize is offering a free subscription of 30 issues ($54 value), see the header on the Upsize homepage. Now, we just have to see about getting on the cover. ;)

Nurturing Friendship and Creativity

Tonight, I was honored to be a guest on the Jill Spiegel show on FM107. We spoke about creativity and friendship. This is what we talked about:

-Through a creative process, we let go of some of barriers and communication tends to flow more naturally and deeply. For example, I've found it really easy to get to know other women while doing beadwork. Our hands are occupied and it allows time for silence, without it being awkward. This same phenomenon happens in our Creativity and Tea sessions, allowing for easy, unintimidating networking.

-As a busy woman, I desire spending time in friendships but also like it when I feel I'm accomplishing something. By creating with friends, I'm able to nurture friendships, have fun, be inspired and support each other in our creativity all at the same time.

-Through creative processes, we express ourselves. We express our emotions, our thoughts that need to come out or even simply our aesthetics. We get to know each other more deeply and appreciate each other more fully.

-A lovely byproduct is that we also remember each other by what we have created. When I look at a piece I created while I was with friends, I not only see what I made, I recall the wonderful time we shared together and that positive energy infuses the piece.

-Once a month, I host an open creativity studio called Creativity and Tea. It's a time to come together, relax, play with creative materials. I serve tea and chocolate and do all the clean up. I want everyone there to feel like a kid again. I'm lucky because I get to be in a wonderful environment, inspire creativity and absorb all the positive energy in the room. I always leave glowing. I hear time and again from attendees that they really enjoy the connections they make. Informal networking naturally bubbles up during these sessions and often they follow up by working together in various ways.

-I'm also fortunate to be in a group called sister i, in which we support each other on our creative goals. And of course, we have developed powerful friendships with each other through this process.

Jill Spiegel shared about "walking in the direction that gives you energy" and staying "true to yourself and walk your own dream". I notice that whenever things start feeling difficult and draining, it's just a nudge to let me know I'm straying from my path. Jill gave exceptional advice to her listeners about paying attention to synchronicities, what feels easy and what people tell you you're great at to get on the path that feeds your passion.

What is a Virtual Assistant? A VA is a Business Lifeline

I nominated our Virtual Assistant, Jean Hanson for Upsize Magazine's Lifelines award. She was one of seven selected and I'm so happy that she's being publicly recognized for her outstanding work. Here is a picture of Jean and me at the awards ceremony yesterday.

Click here if I've got you wondering "What is a VA (Virtual Assistant)?"

The day I was referred to Jean Hanson was the day my business gained momentum. I decided to make an investment in the growth of my business by partnering with a VA who could take over some of the marketing projects I was handling myself. Jean skillfully stepped in, freed up my time from these projects, and inspired me to take steps I would not have felt ready to otherwise. She is worlds more than a task-keeper – she gets the big picture of what I’m trying to do with my business and helps me move towards my goals by brainstorming ideas and implementing a plan.

If you are a small business owner or solo entrepreneur and could use some assistance but aren't able to hire a part or full-time employee, I recommend you consider a VA. Many of us small business owners try to do everything under the sun and then run out of steam. My VA, Jean's assistance gives me more time to hold my vision and do what I'm good and passionate about.

What is my lesson from working with Jean? “As an entrepreneur, you can do anything, but in order to grow your business, you simply can’t do everything!”

Thank you and congratulations, Jean!

Mom-Camp Rochester

What do you get when 350 mothers choose to come together for a weekend of pampering and great breakout sessions? A big smile that lasts two days. That's what happened for me at the Rochester Mom-Camp this weekend. It really was beautiful to see so many women taking some time out for themselves. I'm sure that every one of them went home feeling more in balance and rejuvenated.

I stayed at the Kahler Grand hotel and only got a few hours of sleep on Friday night. That was because the women in the rooms on either side of me were having so much fun with their evening of independence. Every time I'd begin to doze off, a ripple of laughter would wake me. I was happy for them and wasn't about to ruin their fun. I justified my lack of sleep, telling myself that if I was with their rooms I'd be having just as much of a good time.

Our facilitator, Becca Pournoor led the session on "Your Ideal Sexual Life: It's All About Communication." She offered the same session at Mom-Camp Twin Cities this fall. It was so well received, they asked us to bring it to Rochester. Again, it was a hit and the participants were happy to have a place to ask their questions and openly communicate. Laurie Aarchbold, the organizer of the Rochester Mom-Camp jokingly said they could have easily offered just three sessions and kept everyone happy; "Ideal Sexual Life," "How to Look Like a Million" and something on how to make a million. Becca's session filled once again and Mom-Camp sold out at 350.

I tabled in the Canteen area and met so many lovely and interesting women. I look forward to going back to Rochester with our sessions and staying involved with Mom-Camp. I left feeling just as inspired as all the campers.

Free and Fun Career Strengths Assessment

I just completed a fun, free and easy career interests assessment at www.assessment.com. They provide you with an amazing amount of information. The teaser is that you'll want to purchase more information from them. A cool thing about this assessment is that it words your characteristics in a way that could easily be used in a cover letter or resume. I was affirmed by all my results that my job is the best fit there could be for me. I love what I do.

Here's one of the excerpts that stood out for me from my assessment:
'"Mentor: a trusted counselor or guide." Teresa is interested in and consciously prefers to consider the existence, meaning, purpose, potential, and destiny of mankind, people, persons, and self; with self-felt, self-accepted responsibility to influence and/or cause good, growth, and gain in the lives of all concerned. Teresa has intuition and philosophical curiosity that causes an awareness of personality, intentions, emotions, ethics, values, and moods of other persons, and of self. By itself, this is not benevolence. If Teresa is highly motivated for benevolent activities, this trait is compulsively central to personal and vocational activities. If there is a lack of personal motivation, then the preference for consideration tends to be more philosophical or academic in nature, but still service oriented.'

I like how it sums up information about you almost as someone providing a referral for you. If you're not already in your "dream job" maybe this will give you a glimpse into what that would look like. Try it out and have fun!

Is Networking a Waste of Time?

Last Thursday, - at a networking event I should add ;) - we had a great presentation by Jill Konrath on Selling to Big Companies. She was insightful, open and honest. I'm still thinking about a lot of what she shared and I may blog about it more. I bought her book, Selling to Big Companies and started skimming through it. Because I love networking, I was stopped in my tracks when I saw the heading, "Why Most Networking is a Waste of Time."

I read on and found that I actually agreed with what she shared. Big company decision makers don't attend usually general networking events. She also pointed out that in most networking, the likelihood of a good referral is pretty low. Why would someone you just met and hasn't personally experienced your work recommend you to their clients? Basically, she says the time and energy put into general networking could be better directed if you're really looking to build clientele.

So what does this mean for a natural networker such as myself? I talked with Mary Kay DuChene from Mom-Camp about this and we had a great discussion. As connector types, we go about networking as a way to develop supportive relationships or to see what others need and then connect them to someone who can help. (It's true, we enjoy supporting others even when there's no financial gain for us.) Whenever I've facilitated networking events, I've taken the approach of creating an environment where attendees can easily create meaningful connections and be supported in their work. Mary Kay and I talked about how the word "connection" has a warmer connotation. The word networking can convey an image of a bunch of people trying to sell themselves, not necessarily being interested in helping to promote the work of others. We both agreed that there are plenty of networking events that are worth it. It's valuable if you are creating real connections either by the way you communicate, attending regularly and developing collegial alliances in which you do have the confidence to provide good referrals to each other. It's also worth it if the topic of the networking session interests you and brings people together in a supportive way. I'm going to mill this question over some more because it will affect the way that I approach and talk about the networking I do.

What do you think? Is general networking a waste of time? What has been your best networking experience? I invite your comments.

Putting the safety on depression triggers #7 - Less Exercise/Lack of Sun

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I've listed some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Less exercise now that it's cold out
Remedy: This year I was proactive. I know that I tend to get less active in winter and then feel down. I joined a healthclub and have been working out at least 3 times a week. My doctor will be happy that I've finally listened to her advice. It really does help and I never feel down while I'm exercising. I needed to make it as easy as possible for me to succeed with my new exercise plan. So I selected a club that is only a block away. I get added exercise from walking and there won't be any excuses about the car not starting!

Trigger: Lack of winter sun
Remedy: There's not much I can do about the sun but I can make sure to open window coverings fully. I'll take time to bask in any sunbeams when they do make an appearance. I can also bring in warm light with candles during dinner.

I found making this list helpful and illuminating. As I wrote it, I remembered that in winter is always a down time for me. While I work to keep myself from getting too low, I also recognize that winter is my dormant time for my energy cycle. On many levels, I need this time to shut down a little and regain my energy. Come spring, I'm sure I'll be ready to burst from my seed.

Try making your own list what triggers depression in you. Follow it with remedies for how you can put yourself in safety mode. I hope it's useful to you. Take good care.

Putting the safety on depression triggers #6 - "Techno-Despair"

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger:"Techno-Despair"
Remedy: I'd planned to write about depression triggers each day for a week. Then I ran into problems connecting with the internet for several days. So now, I'm back to the topic and have another to add to my trigger list. After being on various helplines all weekend, I began to experience "techno-despair" (as termed by Dr. Judith Orloff and I'm sure, countless others). Sometimes I wonder if there is something about me that makes technology go haywire. When this happens, I want to just give up and rid myself of all technology. But being a business owner, that's a tough thing to do. The remedies I used for my "techno-despair" were 1) to remind myself that things would get figured out and get better, 2) I may as well be patient because impatience would just make things worse, 3) convincing myself that a break from technology was a good thing for me (I admit that one was hard to believe, since I was really on the phone and problem-solving on my computer for hours on end with helplines) and 4) reminding myself that usually technology is useful and not such a headache.

Putting the safety on depression triggers #5 - Failed Goals

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Failed goals
Remedy: When I look back at the past year, I notice that I pay way more attention to the goals I didn't achieve than the ones I did. I'm going to learn from this. Instead of dwelling on what didn't happen, I'm revisiting my goals to see if they still serve me. If they do, well then they can continue on as goals for this year. And if they don't, then there certainly isn't any reason to dwell on them. Another remedy: I've looked through last year's calendar and remembered many of the great things I did accomplish. Not so shabby, after all!

Putting the safety on depression triggers #4 - Too Much Noise and Hubbub

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Too much noise and hubbub
Remedy: As a sensitive person, I get overwhelmed when there is a lot of noise or too many distractions. When I'm overwhelmed, it's hard to feel centered and positive. My kids have had two weeks off from school and they they are either making noise, laughing, making demands or jumping around constantly. As much as I can, I look at the bright side. "Wow, they are so happy to play together!" "How cute; they like to pretend they are wild animals!" But I do get saturated, even when it's all happy noise. So keeping the TV to a minimum, taking occasional breaks to be alone and enjoying the quiet while they sleep are all remedies. I also made sure to give them a 'last call' on the New Year's noisemakers to get it out of their systems. And then into the trash they went!

Putting the safety on depression triggers #3 - Sluggish from Unhealthy Eating

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Sluggishness from not eating as healthy
Remedy: In past years, I'd been so thrifty that I'd cringe to throw out anything edible. That meant that I'd continue to eat my way through all the holiday treats instead of making healthier choices. I'm glad to say that I've finally eased up on that way of thinking. Gingerbread house-out! Stale cookies, holiday bread and cake-goodbye! Packaged treats received as gifts-Well, those I'm putting out of sight until my family's sugar level gets back to normal. And then we'll just open them one package a time. :)

Putting the safety on depression triggers #2 - Grief for Loved Ones Lost

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Grief for loved ones lost
Remedy: During the holidays, a part of me still expects to see or hear from loved ones who have passed away. Rather than ignore the loss, I find it helpful to recognize the beauty in the cycle of remembrance. It's reassuring to know that they are living on through memories and traditions.

Putting the safety on depression triggers #1 - Post-Holiday Let Down

Even though we're hearing "Happy New Year!" everywhere we turn, this time of year creates depression for many of us. Each day this week, I'm going to list some of the triggers I personally experience during this season and followed it with what I'm doing to combat it (I encourage you to make your own list of triggers/remedies):

Trigger: Post-holiday let down
Remedy: For me, post-holiday let down looks like this; While I greatly enjoy receiving gifts, I notice that afterward I feel a bit materialistic. Having lots more in the house also feels overwhelming. I'm balancing out all the new stuff that has come into our home by clearing clutter as much as I can. By filling boxes to be donated with things that are no longer loved, I both ease the discomfort of feeling materialistic and get back breathing space. (I went through this same sorting process as I put away the holiday decorations yesterday.)